Ego

Ego is something else
Either you can rise within 
Or die over and over before you begin
See ego is your sense of self
But can be your mental hell
Constructing a 3 dimensional construct
Like a prison cell
Wishing for someone to unlock the door
Or melt the metal bars 


At a distance you see a wishing well
But the closer you get the liquid smells
Of terrors and errors
As if someone mopped the floor 
And you slip and fell
Reading scripts from cemented floors
The cracks and crevices 
Reek of passions falling face forward


When doubt locked you down 
After failure present you a cold case
The bold face cries 
Slithering like snakes 
Wondering around 
Like sweat running from your face
The prize that never gifted you sense
But left a scent of compost bins
With long lost sins
 
Have you ever stopped to question
What am I doing here?
The ceiling is one match strike away
From falling flat to the floor of underworld hymns 
As if you were a made up characters in Sims
with a baseball cap with no brim


Just a durag drenched with pain and sorrow
Begging and pleading for newness tomorrow
A tea cup steaming of yarrow
You reach out your hand and borrow 
A cup half full of pain
That once left after you bleed
Through the fractured pieces 
Of mirrored visions and failed decisions


It was all an illusion
Filled with chaos and confusion
Like dumb and dumber
Battle rapping with the three stooges
A plastic mallet hit left bruises
Late night wrestling matches 
Felt like robbers intruding


While cruising the block 
For a sock with a rock
That popped the sense back
Into the knick knack
Back seats rides in Cadillac's
Visions so far gone from cataracts
Sore after football practice
Wishing you had a padded back


But equipment was missing 
After leaving with stitches
With shit stains in britches
Because that hit stick and fumble
Left you hissing
 
You never changed your oil
Even though you checked the dip stick
Reminiscing old times eating ketchup on fish sticks
Roaming and patrolling the streets like a misfit
Cursing at cops calling them dip shit
Rolling up weed for a quick fix
Mind so far gone from a distance
Now you quenching your thirst
with water from the fish dish


This all doesn’t make sense 
Because the sense you crave
House a mother board with a chipped disk
The software failures 
McAfee hard drive errors
Downloads skipping bars from 
AOL dial up errors
Your thoughts is just a inch away 
From a one way ticket to your misery
Pay per view promotion of the century
Lined up to get lined up to a Scooby Doo mystery 
Once you escape the illusion and confusion
The internal battles are history
But first face the misery


Hard reset is needed to proceed 
Hard fought battles dropped you to your knees
Then you woke up heavy breathing
Once you figured out that life was a dream
Then your wishes floated down the stream


Soul over flowed with joy
Because you nurtured it
There’s no more hell to see
But rivers, hills, seas, breeze
Great mother watching you drop to your knees
Cold chills quivered your spleen
Loud cheers from your spiritual team
You took one for the team
Giving reverence to your ancestors screams


Guardian angels gift wrapped your heart
Severing ties had you falling apart
One quest to oneness
Sunrise to sunsets
Growing pains from one test
Life’s journey foretold the rest
Hanging on at times from stress
Be bold, be fierce, let go of your fears
Drop those tears 
behold your best years